We all are about 80% water. You and I are about 80% identical. What makes us different is not how tall we are or what colour our hair is. What makes us different is what is inside in our mind- our values, beliefs and thoughts.
Our values, thoughts and beliefs are established by our parents, friends and surroundings in which we live in. Some of them are so deep routed in us that we don’t even realise we have them. They are important because they colour what we see and hear, think and conclude. They colour the way we communicate with others-what we say and how we say it, and how we perceive what others communicate to us.
►How they work as filters and may promote conflicts
“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a persistent one.”- Albert Einstein. The truth is, there is no reality. It exists inside our Mind. We each construct our own reality. We each see truth and reality from our own perspective and others see it from a different perspective. We each have our own truths and we believe accordingly. Belief creates the actual fact and we tend to gather information that supports our beliefs, whether these are right or wrong. Our values, beliefs and thoughts determine everything we do and say, which determine the results we get. These results, in turn, confirm our values, beliefs and thoughts. They become self-fulfilling prophecies. The brain, in its quest for predictability and conformity, will ignore or bend any information that contradicts our beliefs. This is unconscious and rapid process. Our subconscious acts as a filter to let in information that supports our beliefs and keep out information that does not. We go through life seeing what confirms our mental models and ignoring what contradicts them. If we can't ignore conflicting information, we will reinterpret it, or twist it so that it is more consistent with our mental models. Our subconscious mind works hard to avoid feelings of acute discomfort and confusion which arise when a deeply held value or beliefis challenged. They act as if what is true for them is true for everyone. However, it is not true since we each have different experiences and backgrounds. Many of our values, beliefs and thoughts are hidden from us in our subconscious and control our communication and actions. It is necessary to examine them as they promote conflicts in the society.
Beliefs: Values are deeply and strongly held beliefs and principles about what is right and wrong, good and bad, important and unimportant, what should be and shouldn’t be. They are being valued by some persons because they give temporary material benefits to them-fanaticism, etc. Although beliefs are neither right nor wrong, most of us behave as if they are. This difference in
beliefs or its priority lead to problems in communication and conflicts between people. As we go through life, we organise our experiences and beliefs about ourselves, others and the world into paradigms. These deeply held mindsets are the lenses through which we see, interpret and experience our world. They guide our thoughts, attitudes and our communication. We assume they represent truth and reality and seldom question them.
Thoughts: Our brain is the most complex object. The Avg. person’s brain has about 100 billion neurones, or cells. They can connect with countless others: in fact up to 1000 trillion connections and probably more are possible.
This is greater than the known number of atoms in the universe. It means we can think a limitless number of thoughts. When we think or communicate, electrical and chemical connections between specific neurons are established. The more often we think a thought the more likely we are to think it again, because we establish, and then strengthen, these neural pathways. Once a value or belief is established and once thoughts become habitual, they can be difficult to change. We are all captives of the pictures in our mind- our belief that the world we have experienced is the world that really exists. Sometimes, beliefs are destructive and serve no useful purpose. Without changing such beliefs we can't become a perfect person.
Now question is-How we can change them? The only way is: Keep your windows open. Let fresh air enters your house. Discuss with others. Share with others. Do some reasoned analysis. Modify your thoughts. Strengthen them through the way of actions. Convert your actions into habits by doing repeatedly. Then only we can change them. However, replacing them with new ones is very painful exercise. However, we should ensure that the gap between our perceptions and holistic realities is minimum.
Dr Pramod Kumar
15-3-2011
Email: drpk1956@gmail.com
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